I'll be coming through so get ready so get ready

So here's my update, I'm back, I had a great time at Lohikan, really loved it can't wait to go back, hopefully I can go back next year. It's been a great summer I lost some weight, I feel good, and look great. I just finished up my first set of classes before the next semester starts. I'm finally back home with my best friend and we're watching scary movies and lounging around. I'll be in allentown until thurs or friday and then straight back to coudersport on friday. It's a good time. I need to start bulking up, for reals, just got a membership packet to the Y woohooo, it's time to start swimming again. Soooo anyways... Grissom is getting replaced on CSI? I'm really worried that I'm not going to make it through college, it's just like everything seems so out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac, but whatever. also the person who couldn't leave me alone for like ever is back to haunt me. like a bad dream. ugh. OH! and one more thing I decided I want to change my name to sullivan, it's such a great name and i just figured it fit me, but as for this blog I'll always be signing it "Grey." Damn do I love CSI it totally makes my night now that I've been deprived of TV for like ever. whatever. By The Way it's a major possibility that I'll be moving to allentown shortly, it all really depends on what goes on in the next week...depending I'll be out there for the next year where there's a mall, and a barnes and nobles :) and everything else I need to survive. So I'll be keeping this blog posted. nobody go nowhere.

I would understand...

I'm happier without you...
I really am
and I can't stand you
I can't stand the new you...
why?
because you're inevitable
you're the calm before the storm
and now you've become the storm
and if you do not want to see me again...
I would understand.

sex lies and all your addictions.

So I'm home from camp for a couple days and I have SOOOOOOOOOO much schoolwork to catch up on so this blog is not going to be like "let me tell you all the stories about camp" it's agoing to be ashort and aeasy...I met some awesome people so far, I definitely have a crush...yea. I know. Then of course there is a rumor that I have a crush on some guy who is a lifeguard, all because I made a comment on how he's the big man on campus, he's very popular and so friendly. whatever. There is this one guy though, and he's really cute, and he has a perfect smile, but kinda a wierd laugh, oh well. We have ALOT in common, you'd be surprised. it's kinda wierd that I met him like right outside the infirmiry right after I got there and now I'm like WOAH! I don't know, he's so cute I just want to take him home, but like we have all seen in the past, I do pick losers....uhm major losers? anyways camp is so wierd like there is no internet, unless you're free all the time and you can spend every ounce of your time searching for a slight hint of a very slow internet connection, I don't even have the time to piss in a day there. Internet is kinda a priority for me, but not as much as surviving in the wilderness. I have my own room, which is nice, my own bathroom which is a must, i HATE sharing a shower, it's no fun. I have a bit of a sunburn by the way, and did I mention I have lost 12 pounds...freaking yes I did, we're going for 20 more and a 6 pack of abs, but let's face it, compromise can be neccesary. I work for these people who do not believe in smoking, it's like a major "NO". I would think that going for a nature hike and smoking would be acceptable, it's most certainly not. Also these people use the term "quitted" instead of "fired". why? because they view themselves as traditionalist parents, who refuse to be disobeyed. breaking one rule gets you fired. I'm waiting for my slip... it's only a matter of time, but seriously I've been good, a little lonely but good. I'm not really lonely there, like I am never by myself but I'm lonely in the aspect that I want to be home with my friends while they're home for the summer. another thing I've realized while at camp for 7 days is that not only can you not judge someone because they have the decency to speak to you before hearing you speak but also there are like 5 billion things I need to change about myself, cause right now, I'm beginning to realize how much I suck at alot of things, so anyways this I guess is my cigarette blog of the week because you won't be hearing from me for a while and I hope you can all understand that I have like no service at this place and no internet, bitch all you want but it's not going to get a cell tower in my bedroom, just know that. BY THE WAY, for those of you who know what I mean, he's back, and I'm not going to say no, even though I want to.

tomorrows, post, tonight...sorry it's early, deal with it

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;) judge me.

so I know I haven't blogged for a couple days, and i'm sorry but I can't get internet where I'm staying so I've been reduced to a hotel parking lot to post everything I've written thus the reason there are two blogs today, sorry I can't post date things, so anyways by tomorrow I should be back to a regular schedule and I definitely have some things to say in the next couple few. ya so I'll be gone most of tonight seeing people, I've been missing these past few weeks and I will be back to blogging when I have finished all my schoolwork that's dues, and trust me it's alot...I'm quite behind. Be safe kids! ;)

sorry it's late.

So I just got to town, a couple hours ago. I’m tired, I don’t feel good, and I’m worried, about what? My college. I am worried that I can’t afford it. Like if I can’t afford this what the hell am I doing in it? I don’t feel like it’s possible, and I’m scared, it cost way too much to go to college in the age we live in. I don’t have money for this college so I guess who am I kidding? I don’t know, I am just thinking that it’s not something I can do right now. I don’t have the money and I don’t want to be a burden on my mom and family right now. I don’t know it’s difficult, but it’s a decision I’m going to have to make, whether or not I’m dropping out of college. AND SCENE!

stalk my life.

I stopped at the sheetz in williamsport, so judge me...I'm eating a schmisquit? and LOVING it. I'm so tired and can't wait to get home but i figured i would take a second and blog, cause im sick of driving right now. i almost didnt make it to williams sport i left the house almost ran out of gas and THANK GOD there was an M and T in sunbury otherwise i'd be crying on the side of the road. my stomach is thinner and I look hott with two "t's" today. just trust me. I miss you all so much and can't wait to be home, by the way if you don't already know, I'll be in olean tonight buying jeans, shopping that shit up...so get a hold of me, if you're in coudy I OBVIOUSLY WANNA SEE YOU BEFORE I LEAVE AGAIN!!! love you bitches!...p.s. my phone IS on and in FULL working order, which means texts pref call please... ;)