tomorrows, post, tonight...sorry it's early, deal with it

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

;) judge me.

so I know I haven't blogged for a couple days, and i'm sorry but I can't get internet where I'm staying so I've been reduced to a hotel parking lot to post everything I've written thus the reason there are two blogs today, sorry I can't post date things, so anyways by tomorrow I should be back to a regular schedule and I definitely have some things to say in the next couple few. ya so I'll be gone most of tonight seeing people, I've been missing these past few weeks and I will be back to blogging when I have finished all my schoolwork that's dues, and trust me it's alot...I'm quite behind. Be safe kids! ;)

sorry it's late.

So I just got to town, a couple hours ago. I’m tired, I don’t feel good, and I’m worried, about what? My college. I am worried that I can’t afford it. Like if I can’t afford this what the hell am I doing in it? I don’t feel like it’s possible, and I’m scared, it cost way too much to go to college in the age we live in. I don’t have money for this college so I guess who am I kidding? I don’t know, I am just thinking that it’s not something I can do right now. I don’t have the money and I don’t want to be a burden on my mom and family right now. I don’t know it’s difficult, but it’s a decision I’m going to have to make, whether or not I’m dropping out of college. AND SCENE!

stalk my life.

I stopped at the sheetz in williamsport, so judge me...I'm eating a schmisquit? and LOVING it. I'm so tired and can't wait to get home but i figured i would take a second and blog, cause im sick of driving right now. i almost didnt make it to williams sport i left the house almost ran out of gas and THANK GOD there was an M and T in sunbury otherwise i'd be crying on the side of the road. my stomach is thinner and I look hott with two "t's" today. just trust me. I miss you all so much and can't wait to be home, by the way if you don't already know, I'll be in olean tonight buying jeans, shopping that shit up...so get a hold of me, if you're in coudy I OBVIOUSLY WANNA SEE YOU BEFORE I LEAVE AGAIN!!! love you bitches!...p.s. my phone IS on and in FULL working order, which means texts pref call please... ;)

As I go....

So I'm sore as hell from my abs work out and i mean literally like I tore every torso muscle in my damn body. ugh, tomorrow I have an application to return a three hour drive to make and definitely people to see!!!! I'm so tired and exhausted, I doubt I'll be doing the blog for a while because I'm not planning on using my laptop much while home. I should be home on Monday, and I will fill you all in as to what happened in Coudy while I was gone. what the hell is so special about Monday that it needs to be capitalized? WTF? I hope i don't run into isaac, but if i do i do, miss me.

seriously? seriously?

Anyone who knows me knows that I have little triggers, things that set me off, one of them is making me continuously making me feel like a failure. At 9:30 in the morning, I DO NOT want to be bothered, leave me alone, for like 2 years I have scheduled most of my life, to fit my awful sleeping habits, I can’t sleep most nights. I usually don’t go to bed until the sun comes up, even with no distractions keeping me awake I will stare at the ceiling all night long, until about 4:47 when I can see the sky change colors. I’m pretty much okay with waking up between 10 and 1 in the afternoon, don’t invade my space, or my time. Especially by telling me what I’m doing wrong with my life, it’s obviously not your job to live mine, so don’t try to, it’s not yours, once again it’s mine. Just thought I should throw that out there. Another thing, I do have limits, one of them, is privacy. Don’t come into my area and go through my things or check up on what I’ve “been up to”. There’s a reason for every life decision I make, that reason is no business of yours. If it was you’d be a shrink. And you’re not.

and my neighbor just drove by on like a mini trick bike and I'm sitting in my driveway in my pajamas typing on a laptop. seriously? seriously!

so about that

Just give me a call when you feel better. Have you ever felt completely jaded? I’m feeling jaded, as if everything I have right now is not what I’m supposed to have, instead of a house in the country, I’m supposed to have an APT in the city, or a house on the beach. Most definitely not this. It's not what I need, I feel like I need space, but more importantly, independence. This is not something I ever wanted for myself, I never in my life wanted a three story house, all to myself. I want a flat. I want to be rich. I want an amazing body. I don't want this. Here, I write, I feel so lonely, but I write. I don't like this at all, and I just realized this is sounding more like a lifetime drama then a blog, but it's true. In the north there's cold winters, weird grocery stores, and me. I'd much rather be in the south...trust me.