what if.

Hey there good friend. So I'm listening to Keane, Sometimes I think to myself. What if I just used to be a lovely boy? What if I don't have that special luster anymore, what if that special twinkle in my eye is gone? What if I'm not that innocent, what if I'm nobody's one.

ughhhhhhhh

Okay so don't get me wrong, I love doves, they're sweet they represent peace, they're are on every church logo and how beautiful they truly are but......How much do I love the dove perched outside my window cooing at 4:15AM!?!?!?! How much do I really love it?????? Omg I don't understand why this little white trash bird is cooing at 4:15?!?! What is there too coo about at this hour???? OMG. I need sleep, Insomnia went out in the 90's.

Sula luna

prendalo alla luna
Mostrimi l'azzurro profondo
Lascilo ritenere
il cielo Glie l'tenga
Take me to the moon, Show me the deep blue,
Let me feel the sky, Hold me close to you.

Sonno con la luna.

I'm not in denial, I'm honest.

I woke up at 4:00 pm, I got pictures of my dad today... I don't know how I feel about them, but I do know I'm very disappointed and a little sad. Cause my dad was a piece of shit. I'm glad he's not around. I don't need that.

I have to call maintenance

P.s I hate insomnia. I seriously can't sleep and I have a website to build tomorrow. Someday when I'm rich I want days to myself where I can just say "I'm not coming into work tomorrow I'll be working at home." And I can just spend the day with my kids chilling out at the house kinda working, really not. Going to lunch with my babe car car, spending the day with my real family. See I'm gay... and I want the American dream, Just like you. By the way check out the newest rendition of an advice blog. It's pretty amazing. Www.apartment1227.blogspot.com Our new site is coming soon....so shut up.
somethings missing


Take you away
From this empty apartment
You stay
And forget where the heart is
Someday
If ever you loved me you'd say
It's okay


I feel like I should've adapted that to me.

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life?
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
How broken my heart is?
The chorus bleeds in


It's okay to be angry.

sula luna

So all the sudden, my room isn't as cold. Sorry it's been a while I've been really busy in the new city. It's been really hectic plus my room mates and I just started a new project blog thing and we're trying to get that underway but...I had to blog about two things. The fact that I feel so weird I can't even describe it. I really honestly feel like I'm going through menopause...and there's no gay bars or clubs here that I can get into. It really sucks. I feel like nothing I say makes sense...I keep typing the same shit and erasing it. Holy shit that song ended really fast. Okay, also I feel like I'm having an OCD attack. I'm listening to Norwegian singers...I know. Okay so anyways the other thing I needed to post was the fact that the guy across the drive ordered him some lip service from some hooker. I just watched the girl walk in. She looks like a total street walker too. I swear to god she does. I don't think she's wearing pants, she's in like knock off jimmy choo come fuck me pumps and this bitch has got legs for DAYS.... And she's in like a shrunken fur parka??? I don't even know omg. Ya okay so she walked in literally off the street. From somewhere. I'm pretty sure she's a hooker because I haven't seen her and I've seen everyone...even the italians downstairs half naked...it was amazing. OMG the oldest does his laundry naked with the shades and windows open I can almost smell his masculine male nudity...almost. Oh and I would just like to thank Italy personally for giving us these beauties, he literally has davids abs and omg pecs to death!!! Also also also I saw some creeper watching me yesterday when I got home he was outside of our breezeway and when I looked over he ducked behind a wall and then...We think someone is breaking into the apt in the middle of the night because at like 3 am someone walks in and leaves and a couple hours later comes back and locks the door. I wouldn't be surprised, our mailbox key opens up just about every other mailbox on the property. I gotta learn everybody's birthday to cover the rent haha. J/K J/K But anyways it's like almost five. I need sleep goodnight, sula luna

I ain't too proud to beg...sweet darlin

At the end of the day
When I've spent all my money on women and wine
All I can say to you
Is I'm sorry for everything, I'll make it up in time.


Carly...please forgive me.

double kisses

So I'm going to write a book. I'm going to name it, the one that got away. By greyson van pelt. it's going to be like a realistic ficticious novelishous book about the one that got away. I don't want to spoil the ending ...I might not even tell carly. So anyways todays a really nice day, like really nice, I wanna take kayla's car to walmart I need to buy a backpack for my biking routine that I soon need to get into. I just don't want to bike all the way to walmart cause it's like 15 minutes on the expressway so I imagine if I started now I could be there at like saturday morning. Anyone want to donate a beater car? I'll even make payments if they're low enough. and sexual payments work well for me too! haha I be going 90 in a 65. HAHA I love florida. I need to go to walmart. Like now. So I'm going to go take a shower and do something with my life. P.S. I still don't have a job...i'm starting to feel like a failure boo! XOXOgrey

LISTEN OH MY GOD

Seriously I try to write and once again I get so fucking angry I seriously can't even do it. Sucks

and 100 is an update

I've kept this blog for a while now. Yea. So this was the recap of my night.

I made plans to go to the movies with Becca because I didn't want to go alone and I really wanted to see her. I kind of wanted to have just her and me go. Well she already had plans to go to the movies with her room mate and friend, so I invited my room mate, who went with me. I didn't want to be like the 4th wheel if that makes any sense. So anyways, we all went and had a good time. Finally when the movie was over she told me she had another get together to go to, and I just thought a little bit. On the way home me and my room mate hit up a burger joint. Soon after, we pulled into our apt complex and he got a call on his cell, he made plans to go to the club. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to tag along to anything. But all the clubs here are 21 and up, and I just kinda imagined myself coming down here and clubbing on the weekends. I have this fear that I won't be able to start a social life here, and don't think I live for getting fucked up and going to clubs...because I don't. I live for the night. I love nightlife, it's a time to relax and just enjoy. So the point is I'm a little bit lonely, but I promise I'm okay...it's just a little bit tough right now. Everything will be just fine.


I'm listening to love songs. Not the best idea but whatever.

my 99th post wasted on you

I was happy laying there beside you, you whispered in my ear. You held me when I was cold, and I stared into your warm eyes, until the morning skies came creeping on the night.

I just wrote a very long and very angry blog. So angry I'm actually afraid that people will report what it was. And so I'm not sharing. Carly jo, has heard it all before and she gets me. I'm very upset about all of this. I really am. I was so upset I started to throw things and look for razors. But I'm not going to do that. Instead I'm just going to smoke another cigarette and look the other way. After I get the crying out of the way. I'm sorry Isaac. I would've told you, I promise I would've. But you weren't ready to listen, or to hear it. And so now we're here, very far away with nothing. I'm sorry that it came to this, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I could've. I promise. I love you.


Greyson.

He's a waiter but so much more.

His name is Eric, John Mayer is playing in the background, I haven't had a cigarette in a while and my coffee's getting cold. But he has a warm smile, inviting eyes, and a handshake to calm the shaky. I get the feeling, he's feeling me out and I think he knows I'm questioning him too. We both agree, and we both tell the truth. I compliment him with a coffee filled handshake. Things are so different here. I feel okay. It's as if, he was supposed to be here, in this restaurant, just to say hello. I think I've become a regular. And I'm okay with that. He calmed my nerves about this city, and strange as it may be I get the feeling that no matter what's going on I could always find myself here, with a cup of coffee and someone to listen. This brightens my night and makes me smile silly. I'm so glad to be in fla. I'm so glad I met Eric.

I'M IN EFFING PERKINS.

Okay so I’ll put up the update tmr. Right now I just want to write. I’ve got my playlist going in the bathroom, and I’m taking a bubble bath and I just try to block out a lot of the things that are bothering me. One being the loneliness, I still don’t have a job and as long as Verizon keeps scheduling bullshit appointments, I’ll still be staying here at the apartment on a regular basis with no internet, cable, or anything. It’s really sad. I like to not think about home and all the things I walked away from but it’s difficult when you have so much time to think and this is what I’ve gathered. I’m lonely, and I need a job. Yup, that’s the extent of it. Believe it or not. I’ve been going out at night and partying quite a large amount since I’ve been here. It’s the days that kill me, I just hate sitting around like being useless. Plus we don’t have furniture to lay around on. My bed and the living room carpet have been my main stage for three days. I’m getting a bike tmr and in between the appointment times I plan on seeing Sarasota, I don’t quite know how to attach a bicycle to a bus but I’ll figure it out, it can’t be that difficult. Anyways, tmr I need to buy a backpack and look fresh, go to borders and go to interviews. I hope I can do that all tmr. If not there’s always Friday. I don’t really want to put off work until Monday though. So, once I get internet I’m going to quit smoking, that’ll be a whole series of blogs. Some hoodlum dressed in all black just ran underneath my balcony looking in all sorts of windows for all sorts of trouble. The Italians live below me, and they’re dangerous. If you piss them off. I applied to a mob front pizza shop earlier this week. That’s good news. Ohhh so here’s last nights events. We went to the shore, bought a bottle of wine and ran around the streets of downtown, drunk. It was amazing. I had a great time. I can’t wait for steed and his girlfriend to get home. I’ll be posting this tonight from borders but it’s 7 0 clock now. So I’m also in another predicament. Because I can’t pay my phone bill it’s getting shut off. I simply don’t have the funds to take care of it. And that saddens me, but life will go on, I can do without a phone for a while. I feel very poor all of the sudden. I was supposed to go to orientation to get money for college but, because I sat down in a room full of hookers, roidies, cowboys, and gang members, I left and skipped it to go fishing with my brother. It seemed like a good idea at the time, I still think it was fun, and occupied a day of unfilled time however I do need the money for college but I see it like this the only thing the money is going to pay for is the tuition I still have to pay 380 dollars in fees. And I don’t have it, so again, it’s on hold until I find the money. I need some rich old banker to take me in and pay for me to go to college. God, that is so typical me. I hate my life. But I love Florida! HAHA. I really don’t feel like I’ve moved I feel like I’ve been on vacation. I hope that feeling goes away soon, because I’m a little bit homesick and a little bit tired, a little bit more and a little bit higher. Okay so I need to go clean up a little bit and go read before my brother and his gf get home. All my lovins from Sarasota XOXO Greyson.

you're such a douchebag

Okay so I bought a phone...right? And I've posted the emails...right? Well I left feedback for this asshole and I looked below mine. guess what I saw?!?!? He did send the phone I paid for to someone else. I'm learning to not sweat the small things in life. This is a small thing, Just a very very very annoying small thing. Just smile. And breathe.

yargggg

part 2 of the ebay blog was in response to his email bitching about my paypal address....whatever he's an asshole. I have to go do laundry

DearEBAYfucker part II

I gave you my confirmed address and the problem is I've had two items shipped to me before and after you sent that refund notice, through Paypal. I also called Paypal would you like to know why? To confirm my "Wrong & unconfirmable address" Obviously it's your end, I waited for two weeks for this phone, and personally think you're just mad because I bought it for 11 dollars, I would give you another address to which you could ship to but I'm pretty sure you sold it to someone else. Once again....THANK YOU for wasting my time. It truly has been a joy.




you're an asshole.

DearEBAYfucker

I hope you're very unhappy in life. atleast for a couple weeks. I never got the phone from you...fucker. So therefore I find you to be an asshole. Enjoy the letter. Eat shit and die.

Dear anonymous ebay seller.
So I'm leaving you negative feedback because you scammed me. I'm out 20 dollars or however much it was. I'm not happy. I wouldn't even be mad about this entire thing if you would've just told me you weren't going to send the phone in the first place. I didn't care about the money, whatever it's 20 dollars. It's the fact that I really needed this phone, and you screwed me over. Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm now going to leave you negative feedback because, you weren't honest, and you stopped replying to my messages. If I'm somehow mislead, please enlighten me of the situation. I didn't want to be mean. Now I have to leave you bad feedback and get Ebay involved because now I want my money just to prove a point. I hope you have an awesome 2009. Thanks!

and p.s. Thanks for wasting my time, I have nothing else better to do. Really. Thanks.
Go to hell, love greyson