sorry but I'm quitting my job to be a personal assistant to myself.

p.s. clearly not getting enough sleep these days. Hate my job. Need a car. Need more time for music. The sadness is really getting to me. I don't have 7 days a week to work 13 hr shifts I don't want 77 hours off a week. I don't want to work 96 hours a week. Thanks but I have music to write, I have trips to plan, I have books to read. I have a life to live. This whole working all the time thing is just simply not working for me...sorry.

Even if you're emotional.

We're gunna make america skinny again...one chop at a time!
I'm so bored with my job. I'm bored with everything. I'm bored with this country. I don't understand why I can't just stay grounded. When I've landed... I've got a quick change over and I'm ready to take off again.

everything you say...
Everytime we kiss... I can't think straight
But I'm okay, I promise... I'm okay


Prop 8 was upheld...
Not going to lie, I cried. It hurts. More than you know.
I'm also writing a new song.

"I just want to be what you see when you look at me...
Can't I just be?"

I'm unbreakable.

God I want to dream again, take me where I've never been... I want to go there, this time I'm not scared. I'm back to the dreaming stage and it's hit harder than ever. I'm ready to throw caution to the wind and build my empire. I'm going to call my brother this week and try to catch up and get some money out of him, or I'll just call my adopted sister and get some money out of her. They both have money that they're sitting on... I know they do. I need the money, I deserve it, the need to give it to me, and it's kinda that whole they stole my inheritence thing. So now I'm fixing it....yea.

You're the sweet song he plays every day

I don't want you to go. I'm not okay with saying goodbye...But when he calls you home & into his arms again, When he's ready to embrace you with the warmth of the humble sun and the peace of the deep blue sea. I'll be ready to let you go, to join him in a place where the o2 is no longer a concern and where breakfast at his table is more than just bacon and eggs. He's setting a place for you in heaven at a table where you'll look into the most calming eyes you've ever seen. The eyes of a saviour, the saviour in white who's waited for you...for years. He's waited to see your face across from his...for so long. If he's ready to see it, I pray for the ability to let you go. He's been bottling every tear you've ever wept for 79 years. I'm sure he's looked upon each with sympathy unfathomable. I'm sure he's put a warming touch to each bottle with love you've never known. He's framed every smile on a wall that's all your own, his to look at with every sunrise. I want you to be able to run into his arms without a second thought, backward glance, or care in the world. I want you to see what heaven is like and meet my family there. I know they'd love every fiber of you. More than anything I want you to know peace. I want you to know the peace of heaven, the love of a saviour who hasn't taken a second of your life for granted and has known every trouble you've dealt with in every way. I want you to see it roni. I pray this world won't keep these chains on you forever. I pray that you'll run to him soon. I know that when you see all that's in store the white walls will fade and the sweetest breath of fresh air will enter your lungs bringing joy and a sense of belonging...you've felt out of place and alone...for too long. I want you to know peace. I pray someday we'll see the crystal waters together and laugh down a road paved with gold. I will someday hold your hand again in heaven. Someday.... I really do love you. I love you more than most but I can't bear to be selfish and want you here/ He wants you there. You're the apple of his eye and if I know one thing is true...you're the reason he wakes up every morning. you'll bring a new sense of humor to heaven i just know it. I pray I'll see you there.

Always with love
Greyson dale

yay 201st post!

Okay so I can practically hear you all "shut up about music already" But ya know what? I have some more to write yet. I just wanted to throw out there that one of the most fulfilling moments in life are working out a song by ear. It just makes me happy when the notes/chords/whatevers match. Anyone who knows me knows I see sheet music and make pictures out of it. I think sheet music is just ridiculous all the dots, lines, and symbols with funny words. Yea totally not me. At all. I just can't stand the thought of going by sheet music, Okay so anyways the first most fulfilling in the world is when you save someone, A guy in a car accident, a heart attack victim that you've worked for 20 minutes or a little kid who's bleeding out. It's a crazy feeling so in honor of the fact that I've been in such a good mood lately and just flat out happy I'm going to make a list of things that make me happy. and in honor of my 201st post... 50 things... I should make it 201 but seriously who's going to read that? haha let's see if I can do this.
1 Music
2 Jolie rouge
3 Waking up to sunshine streaming in my window
4 Cotton sheets
5 My mother.
6 Carlicious
7 Whoppers =) I always feel guilty after though...but still good feeling
8 Swimming in the ocean
9 Swimming in the ocean at night....makes me soooo happy. I don't think I've ever felt more at ease. It's like drifting with water makes you one with the earth. It's everything you've ever dreamed coming to clarity...strange but amazing. ( and no it's not like jaws you will not die but swimming in ocean at night...well idk maybe you could but not via shark bite/attack/eating )
0 M&M's
1 Working with my hands
2 Getting dirty
3 The sun
4 Spring Water...makes me super happy
5 Being eco friendly
6 The way my life is going
7 Good music! New music!
8 Accepting people
9 Dancing
0 Walking out in the middle of nowhere and finding just a single pretty flower. It's like you're sharing a moment with it. You might be the only human that flower will ever see and the fact that all that beauty will someday disappear into the circle of life is just amazing... Not sure if any of that one made sense.
1 FRESH SEAFOOD!
2 Pirates
3 Italian anything. I love italian culture
4 New orleans anything, Zydeco music, Cajun food. seriously...dream come true.
5 Writing
6 Singing at the top of my lungs all by myself...sometimes even when people can hear me. I do it on bad days and it makes them good days
7 Writing my own rules and not following anyone elses
8 Good tech support people
9 MEETING NEW PEOPLE....big one right there. I love meeting new people ask anyone who knows me, I make friends EVERYWHERE...for reals ask carly!
0 Whispering and shouting at really inappropriate times
1 Jessie dog.
2 rolling around in soft grass
3 hugs
4 My moms apple pie...seriously LOVE IT. Can't live without it.
5 waterparks&pools
6 Spending time with my brothers
7 My brothers
8 daydreaming
9 The thought of one day fathering a child
0 ANYTHING CIRCUS like italian circus and foreign talents
1 Travel.
2 Did I mention the beach?
3 Sleeping in
4 Bike riding
5 Finding new talents within myself
6 The sound of a piano in a very empty room - The sound of me releasing my emotion on the keys... I'm sorry to all the pianos I wailed on...you've made me very happy in the past...which brings me to the idea that I want an organ now that's the new thing I really want to learn to play and organ and before I lose the chance I want my grandma to teach me. My mom can teach me the accordion.
7 Letting it out
8 Blogging...is that cheating?
9 Breakfast with my BFF. ( at night)
0 Being alive.
****soul food.****
okay so those are just some of them....
=)
p.s. I've been rolling on jolie so much today, she's really given it to me. I'm just loving it. She makes me feel awesome and I'm serious....she might not be you...but she looks just like you.
She definitely takes away the loneliness.
Jolie is like the perfect girl. She's simple yet sophisticated. She's pleasant but plain. She's a student but mostly a teacher. And she's just got the thing. That I want to snuggle with an accordion thing. For real...she makes me so happy. It's awesome. I was laying down on the couch playing her and I just didn't want to let her go. No lie. She's perfect in every way except for the pain...she's totally worth it though. No lie my shoulders are in so much pain everything in/on/around my torsoe hurts like a mofo because I pick her up and as bad as the pain is I can't stop playing her. The feeling she gives me is just pure ecstasy...it's complicated. Like I said, I don't think there's a soul alive who will ever understand.

xoxo
Grey

Grey <3's Jolie. 4evuh
God I am so gay

Just hear me.

"every time I play the piano, I keep turning around because I expect you to appear at the door, listening.. as you used to."

I miss the way you used to listen...

For people who haven't been through it.

I need to be honest... Music is my life. I'd rather have music than last words. I can only pray that my last words are written into music so that maybe I can live on through music, which kept me alive. Music is like my blood. Music moves me. It means I'm alive. If the music is playing I'm feeling alive, I'm breathing and I'm tasting the very notes inside. Music is the broken heart, the overjoyed feeling, the sadness that fills the air, the lull before I sleep. Music is the calm before the storm, and the raging of the wind inside of me. Me without music? Ha. I live for the songs I sing. They're sung because I'm alive to sing them. I'm serious. I don't think anyone...ever...has ever really understood me. Why do I want to go to new orleans? for the music. Simply put. I know that I'll find some happiness there. Even if it's nothing but just sitting on a dock with some homeless guy listening. It's what I want to do and I'll be damned if I don't do it. That's the end of the honesty. I'll lie to you later.

sod oh may he

so I got my accordion finally. The arcadia. However the bass buttons dont work and I really want to expand my musical knowledge with a pirates concertina or a push button sqeezebox. Both are really inexpensive. I just don't make the right amount of cash. I dont make enough lol. I've really been jamming on the keyboard accordion though. I named her jolie rouge. Meaning Jolly Red. She's amazing. i've been jamming on her for hours since I got her from my moms but still...I NEED A PUSH BUTTON SQUEEZEBOX. It's driving me nuts. I think about it all the time. Ya know music is so wierd. You get this passion for it and all of the sudden all you can think about, dream about, sing about is music on your mind. It's like the homesick feeling you feel your first day at camp when you can't play. Sometimes it's like when I can't play the piano I get sad because it's like not being able to be near the love of your life. Music truly is the love of my life. I'd be happy with no man in my life. Just music. It keeps me company at night, it consoles me when I'm sad and it definitely helps me cope and get rid of anger. It's pretty damn awesome. I think I'll just give up dating and stick with music. I just need my god damn accordion, car, apt. and sewing machine... Oh boy

I hate you

you sick malevolent bastard.

me you the accordion and I

hi there, I know...it's been a while.

I come to you from the land of the ambulanzo...i've been working 5 / 13 hr days & 2 / 24 hr days a week.... I love my life. it's amazing... I have no life anymore which means I have no time to work on my music which is really upsetting seeing that I need music in order to survive. It bothers me that I have no time anymore it's like leaving your child at day care...the separation anxiety kills you but I don't want it to go away. I really need more time to work on music...other than just a day on the weekend which I don't have now... so so so I really want to buy an accordion but they're so expensive. I want this honhor more than anything else in the world, it's pretuned which would save me like 6300$$$ yes that 6300$$$ lots of mulah and it's only 300$$ after shipping and handling... I need it. I'm working on my accordion skills and I must say I'm not the worst in the world but I'm also not the best. I get like homesick just thinking about it. I know that tonight I will speed home to the piano and play until I can't keep my eyes open stumble to the couch feeling saddened because I don't have enough hours in the day and fall asleep sad. =( If I had an accordion I could play at work in between calls. That's really what I want. I need something I can bring to work and play which is why I want to invest in my very first accordion but I have to buy a car right now so I can work and my mom can at the same time...things are tight and borderline miserable. I hate working 91+ hrs a week depending on what my bosses want and hating my job and having no time and getting paid SHIT literally I would make more hourly at the piggly wiggly. No lie. No life. No energy. No sleep. No music. It's scary as hell...and it's sad. Without music where is the life?


Grey

if it's a triangle it must have three sides.

My laptop is on it's way out the door. My brothers are in trouble and I'm stressed as hell! So it's a possibility that my brother is moving up to Pennsylvania. I really hope he does. More than anything else I really hope he does. My other brother might join him if it happens. They're both out of cash! Big shocker so now I have to send them money and I'm broke myself. I'm freaking out. So maybe I'll blog later...IDK

uhm just a little bit

well let's see okay, so I haven't updated because I've been on vaca so here's the post...a survey. miss you guys!


1. What was the highlight of your week? The weekend with the girls
2. Whose car were you in last? carly's & tamecas
3. When is the next time you will kiss someone? The morning...my madre, she's making me breakfast =)
4. What color shirt are you wearing? black
5. How long is your hair? Short!
6. Are you good looking? What?!?! Why even ask that?
7. Last movie you watched? Sweeney todd? I think? No, the craft.
8. Who were you with? Carlicious
9. Last thing you ate? a brownie
10. Last thing you drank? mt. dew
11. When was the last time you had your heart broken? forever ago
12. Who came over last? carly & meeca
13. Are you happy right now? yea... I'm okay
14. What did you say last? Goodnight...
15. Where is your phone? on my chest
16. What color are your eyes? Green as grass
17. Are you left-handed? Nope...def right
18. Spell your name without vowels: Grysn Haha I like it.
19. Do you have any pets? 3 Dogs and my moms boyfriend
20. Favorite Vacation? The sea.
21. What do you dislike currently? The list goes on...
22. What are you listening to? The john butler trio peaches and cream...live...so chill. go listen
23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be? A new phone number...
24. What is your favorite scent? The smell of clean laundry by the ocean, drying on the line, the sea salt and fresh linens...nothing like it.
25. Who makes you happiest? The small things
26. What were you doing at midnight last night? I don't know...watching tv
27. When is your birthday? March 3rd
28. Who has the same phone as you? I honestly don't know anyone with the exact same phone
29. Last time you went swimming in a pool? God....Feb
30. Do you read your horoscope? haha I did tonight go figure...but usually never
31. Where was the last place you bought something? Starbucks....no, walmart.
32. How do you feel about your hair right now? Uhm... comfortable
33. Do you bite your nails? Sometimes.
34. Do you have any expensive jewelery? Yes sir
35. Do you have any expensive clothing? some but as far as that goes this year I made it a resolution to recycle and wear second hand clothing and I'm doing quite well with it, stuff fits better, there's always a story behind it, I'm giving back and enjoy being eco friendly...smartest choice I've ever made!
36. Myspace or facebook? Ewwww neither.
37. How fast have you driven a car? !@) figure it out
38. Have you ever smoked? currently do
39. What was or is your favorite subject in school? hated high school but I would have to say I looked forward to health the most...and J&P
40. Do you have Verizon? Yes
41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for? The dumb sweet ones.
42. Do you have any hidden talents? yes. I can juggle as well as most circus performers... I know lots of tricks and I can walk on stilts.
43. Favorite Song? Jumper by Third Eye Blind
44. Do you like to sing at all? I love to sing it all
45. Dream Job? corporate executive who hates his job. To be honest...doctors without borders.
46. Where does most of your family live? Northern area
47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? Muchos Muchachos siblingas
48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? over all nah but by my mother....oh yes
49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? why am I waking up again?
50. Do you drink? Sometimes
51. Know any other languages? Sign language and fluent spanish as you've seen
52. Ever write a coded message? haha I can write in phonecian no lie!
53. Have you ever been IN a wedding? Yes
54. Do you have any children? Haha yes I'm like octodad
55. Did you take a nap today? No
56. Who has the same birthday as you? Jessica biel? and my supervisor
57. Ever met anyone famous before? Yes
58. Do you want to be famous one day? I'd love to but I wouldn't sell my soul to be.
59. Any Pet Peeves? Too many to list... I'm texting one right now =)
60. Are you multitasking right now? nah not really
61. Do you like Brittany Spears? Love her and not how you think...I love her because she needs love...anyone who's gone through that much can always use an extra hug
62. What is your least favorite chore? I don't do chores but I guess washing dishes?
63. Last place you drove your car? Walmart
64. Ever been out of the country? yes
65. Where were you born? Warsaw New York
66. Could you handle being in the military? haha could they handle me?
67. What is your average cell phone bill? somewhere betwwen 2oo and 3oo
68. Who are you thinking about right now? None of your business
69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard? all day today...with my girls
70. How many pairs of shoes do you own? currently hopefully under 15
71. Are your toes always painted? haha they currently are black...go figure
72. How many piercings do you have? 2
73. What are you doing today? working in 13 hours
74. Have you ever been gambling? haha yes
75. When is the last time you updated your page? God, who knows?
76. Do you like rollercoasters? LOVE THEM!
77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world? yes disneyworld 4 times... would love to go back...even just for a day. I think about it more often than you think
78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Mickey
79. Last thing you cooked? Me cook? Probably fettucini
80. How's the weather? It's night time and its calm
81. Do you e-mail? constantly
82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? dove into the ocean
83. Last time you were sick? this morning
84. What states have you lived in? NY VA PA WV SC NC FLA GA IO take that.
85. Do you wish you could move? ish....
86. Do you take quizzes? I hate quizzes...I left high school for a reason
87. What is your dream car? Mini cooper...which I'll hopefully own soon
88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have? who hasn't
89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be? five years ahead... in my house, on the beach working towards a greater goal
90. Are you happy with your life? No. I should be but I haven't done enough, I haven't lived and I haven't made a difference...when I do...then maybe.