tell me all your thoughts on God, or just lie to me, make me feel worth your time

don't tell me if i'm dying...cause I don't want to know. do you care about all the little things? or anything at all?....at the current moment i'm listening to this, it's angels on the moon by thriving ivory, they're really good...go listen. have you ever been to the part where the next part isn't coming to mind? ever felt like the notes just didn't fit like they did before...like somebody fucked up your octave and you're paying for it live...right now? do you ever just feel like right now? right now i'm sick to my stomach with regret remorse sadness lonliness and the wierdest feeling ever....if I should move to florida? I know I hate PA more than anything else in the world I hate PA and on top of hating PA I belong in fla. it's the fact that i'm leaving so much and what am i gaining and what am I losing by doing it? I want to bid the lunatics goodbye and leave the drama behind. but I don't know if I can, I don't know if i'm ready and that scares me the most...i'm afraid that I am going to lose everything I have...I'm in a good place right now really I am but I know that in my heart and soul I am envious of every human being that walks by. Why am I made of lies, why can I not just be honest...even with myself. Why didn't I do more as a child. I could've been a star. I want the world to know my name, and yes I'll tell you my name. As soon as I find my drink. My cigarettes have become my crutch I can't tell anything or experience anything without them, and I'm okay that way but I am sick of pounding with anger at a 2.00 china made keyboard........maybe he was right. Maybe I'm destined to fail...and Maybe I'm fulfilling my destiny...maybe I'm alone, maybe he was right