Another apology.

I'm a liar.
I'm irresponsible.
I'm belligerent.
It was fun.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to you for all the times I put the bottle before you. And I'm sorry for all the times I acknowledged it in my own mind, and didn't stop myself. I'm so sorry that I let you down, and I'm sorry that I wasn't there.
I'm not sorry that I had a great time, and I don't regret it. I know I did things I shouldn't have, and I know I went against my very own morals. I know that I made bad decisions. But it was a damn good time. I loved every minute of it. I lived my days in recovery and my nights under bright lights. Living every moment.

Through all of this I have one thing to say.
I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do to fix it now, but I am. I am so sorry. I can't lose you, I'd give anything for you, and I don't know what I would do without you. I need you. Like you needed me. I'm sorry. There's nothing to be done now. but I would give anything to try. Please let me be the Greyson Dale you know. Please let me be, that part of you that's been missing. Please,just hear you me. I'm sorry.