fuckkk

So I think I'm going to start putting the songs that I listen to into while writing into the blogs I write so you can listen to the song and read it. So...maybe it will give you a little bit more insight into how I'm feeling when I write it.

Right now I'm listening to TATU - All the things she said.

Okay so in talking with one of my readers, I realized. I need out. I need to figure out how to get stable and I need a full time job to do so and I need to go on vacation. I want a dad...I know random and off topic but honestly, My picture perfect dad never made it to curtain call. He never even left the dressing room and that's what sucks. you spend all your life waiting for the moment when you'll see him and forget about the shitty childhood that was just bland, bleak, dark and depressing and then everything and I mean EVERYTHING falls through the floorboards and into a funeral home. I didn't go to my own fathers funeral. I feel terrible for it but jesus I was just a kid.

the song just changed to kid cudi - Day and Night


And I'm getting heavily involved in online conversations
I want to go swimming so fucking bad right now.

guess i left this window up all day okay so here's round two..

Okay so I just finished up raking leaves...I feel like my quality of life has fucking gone down. It fucking sucks. I haven't showered today and I feel disgusting, but of course I've met with two different physical therapists, a CNA and went to the post office. FML. I need a breath of fresh air.