Day and night

I'm moving back to Pennsylvania and it's a good thing, last night I was in the gay bar, drinking up a storm. I made it back to the apartment and threw my life up into my toilet. It was then that I realized...I didn't sign up for this. I'm a professional, not an alcoholic. I don't know what I'm doing. That scares me. I don't want to drink like that anymore. But seriously, if I start drinking, I just want to drink till I'm dead. I laid on my bathroom floor for an hour last night going in and out of puking, fainting, sweating and breathing. It was terrible. I don't want this anymore. I want a simple normal life and I need to go back to PA to get my life straightened out. fuck what other people say, I need to live my life and do this for me.