ugh my former friends really suck

I've been listening to musicals and fighting with former friends all morning...sorry i know it's been forever. but I am getting back into the swing of things. being unemployed isn't as awesome when it's cloudy in cold. and like I've always said. there's nothing cute about taking a drag in denim or puking in pumps. these vices are killing me but I've still got them. I've got marches to make and books to write. So anyways still don't have a job, my brother might be going to prison, my mom is going crazy, I'm living at home with no money to send my clothing here. My taxes are with my clothing...those will probably be late, I'll just keep procrastinating. Trying to find a job sucks, I've applied to atleast 50 places nobody wants a college drop out it just doesn't look good on a resume, I'm sure of it. I really want to work for joey but I no longer live near him. He'll be in philly on sunday but I can't go to philly for an interview because I have no car and no cash to put gas in it. I almost started working at the gay bar but glenn gave me cash so I didn't and now I have 4 dollars to my name and it's not enough for a car, apartment or new clothing. Maybe I'll just go homeless when it warms up a little. I don't know, everyone knows what I need except me. I've been told by numerous people lately. "you need to figure out what you want" I know what I want in the future, but now...not so much, what I want is to know how to figure out what I want. I don't even know where to start and I feel like I'm behind the world again. I used to think I was just as fast and keeping up with traffic but now it doesn't seem as clear. I have no idea where my life is going, when, how or why. I'm dying for some clarity in all these applications



pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssipromiseillstartwritingmoreitsjustivebeenreallybusy.