Lift your head, while they change the hospital sheets

I'm stressed as hell. Here's my update for ya. I work tmr. I'm tired. I went to see her in the hospital today, she's very sick, very sad, very rough looking. I think she's on her way out, she'll be stepping off the elevator and into his arms very soon. I'm going to miss our talks over ice cream, and the laughs we shared so many times, but I'm hoping and praying she'll be here for a while. I couldn't live with out her, she keeps me going, I swear it, she does. I've been with her just about everyday since she's been in. she's coughing all insane and the nurses can't do their job, they apparently get paid too much to change the sheets once in a while. It all pisses me off. Travis dumped me, we weren't really official but that's pretty much what happened, ALL I WANTED WAS A CHANCE, just a fucking chance. I couldn't get it. I fucking cancelled florida for that boy. And of course tonight he wants me to go see him because he's lonely? FUCK YOU, I have a trip to plan, I feel so fucking alone, one's dying, one dumped me, ones headed out, and one just wants in my pants. Which brings me to my next point my mother is going back to her house tomorrow, I also found out that she's doing volunteer work and getting thieved. Today was hard because I almost went to prison for murder. You have no idea how angry I was when I found this out. Yes her pot smoking boyfriend is a douche bag, yes he is a pussy, yes he thinks he's hott as mick jagger. But now he's fucking robbing her blind? dude. Some shit is about to blow. I can't tell you the anger and rage and hatred I have towards this man right now, but right now I am just trying to make it through the holiday season and hopefully when it's all over beating the shit out of him won't look as appealing. Also the bitching continues about prop 8, like I fucking care right now, stop sending me worthless fucking emails about blackballing companies, I'm sick of the childesh shit people pull when they're pissed. Whatever, get over it, new strategy please. So my lips are chapped as shit, and the other asshole only wants in my pants, nothing to do with my personality, or my smile, or anything else for that matter, just wants to fuck. Well I don't, thanks but I think I've been used enough lately. Really, thanks. It's flattering. Whatever. So after my mother, blackballing, work, sick friends, and assholes who dump me ish? yea. My hair which I died blonde...burnt...it looks really bad...like really really bad. whatever I don't give a shit, why? because I love it and that's all that matters. p.s. I'm still sick, and no I have not quit smoking nor do I intend to anytime soon. Funny, the earbuds I just bought don't fit. I hate everything right now, including myself, I hate the fact that this blog FUCKS UP MY TYPING BY SAVING A DRAFT EVERY TWO FUCKING SECONDS. I also hate the fact that everybody wants to call me and ask me about my away, and quit fucking blowing up my phone Nancy, I need some fucking time to myself. k? k. I also hate the fact that nothing I do can help carly, I hate the fact that I fucking live in allentown, and finally, last but not least I can't stand paula dean, she says ya'll every other word because people find it so cute? WTF. Also I have found a new maddening anger for dogs...I can't stand them anymore! IF ONLY ARSENIC WAS OTC.