boyfriend or an asian maid

OKay so one last post then I'm watching milk and going to bed. I have to go to work tomorrow.

Okay so, I need a boyfriend or an asian maid. here's why;

Because I can't wake up in the morning if I had an asian maid, she could scream in my ear every morning, don't ask me why she has to be asian.
And if I had a boyfriend, he could wake me up with sweet tender kisses, or aggressive sex I guess I'll be in the mood for whatever he's having kind of a thing.

I think they both bring something unique to the table, asian-ness and love that i pay for.

I know random, but I'm probably going to miss work tomorrow on account of the fact that I have neither, and that's not an easy thing to tell your boss.