I am posting way too often

Once again, it's the middle of the night. I've had one hell of a night. I need to watch my mouth. So anyways here's the things I've accomplished tonight;
I've been the bigger man
I've turned into the worst driver ever
I've contemplated buying a plane ticket
I've almost cried...almost. I'm learning to control my emotions
I've given into some of my worst vices
I've eaten an entire box of little debbie's
I've been depressed about it
I've freaked out at my bank balance
I've wondered why I'm still unemployed
I've looked back at really great memories
I've though about going north and going back to my old job
I've realized...people are avoiding me
I've been an asshole
I've had privileges taken away in the form of a substitute father apparently
I've been shocked
&&& I've been mad as hell.



So moving on, I'm a rethinking every damn move I've made in the past few weeks, I'm ready to go back to PA. I hate my brothers girlfriend OMG she's so stupid. I just think she's a bitch. A very stupid bitch, and don't even criticize what I have to say, if I think she's a stupid bitch and that offends you, then stop fucking reading. I have the right to say whatever the hell I want; this is my blog, and this is exactly why I made it. Okay so anyways we went to Walmart, I was the safe driver. Okay so here's the back story I had 3 hoodies in the back of my brothers girlfriends car, and I accidentally blew the speaker on the driver side...don't ask me how, I imagine it was the loud music I blare because if it isn't painful...it's not loud enough. Okay so we get to Walmart, everything is fine, on the way there though she's all paranoid because I'm going 5 over the speed limit. Are you serious right now? Not kidding. Clarification: 5 Miles Per Hour, or MPH yes for real, 5 over, big freakin whoop. Yea okay so then we make it to check out and she goes out to the car leaving me and my brother to pay. I knew something was up. Okay so he says he needs to talk to me for a sec, we walk out grab our smokes light up and he starts talking. This is what he had to say, Because I "Trashed her car, Blew her speaker and drive all crazy with her car" I am no longer allowed to drive it on my own. Fuck that. This coming from the guy who has no license, drives after drinking, spins fucking donuts in her car and she loves it, whips it around on the road and just generally drives like a fucking retard. Okay so just remember I do have a license. Seriously I'm being judged on what fucking scale, Of course I'm not going to fight it, what the fuck and I going to say, it's not fair? Seriously, I'm just like whatever. So I just passively agreed and Imagined myself breaking furniture, which did nothing near calm me down. I was so angry I wanted to fucking scream in his face for all the times that I didn't do shit and got fucking screamed at. OMG I hated my childhood. It sucked, this is the family I have? Way to fucking have my fucking back. OMG I am like uncontrollably angry right now, And of course it's one of those things, Oh well I'm over reacting. Fucking deal with this for as long as I have, seriously. I was so ready to fucking rip her out of the car and scream in her face, "What the fuck are you thinking?!?!? I'm more dangerous that THIS?!?!?" but I'm a good sibling, wouldn't do that. I'm just not that big of an asshole. I wish I could be though. Well I need to get a job, get a place of my own and get the fuck out from under anyone else's fucking reign. Jesus Christ I just don't understand why I can't just be in full control of my life. The Gods hate me, they totally just love to fuck with me, just because they can. I swear it's like bad karma or something. Okay so this is just one of the many reasons why I'm thinking about going home, that and I can't afford to quench my room mates thirst and still quench my own. He never bought the drinks he was supposed to 60$ worth and I've bought atleast 30 40 worth of soda, that he drank. What the fuck. I have like a mini pantry in my fuckin closet now. Yea I feel like a retard stashing away food to keep it from this guy. I'm being rude tonight. I have alot on my mind, biggest thing...abort mission or stay, I'm looking more towards stay, think about it, what do I have to go back to? Allentown, Just spin my fucking tires some more? No thanks. It's time for bed. I'm sick of apologizing. Damn it. Goodnight